a hard day.

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Claudia Ghandi

Today has be especially difficult as it is the anniversary of the passing of a very dear friend. I find myself wishing I had done things differently, simple things, like picking up the phone and calling her, or sending a quick e-mail. The pain I feel today, makes the pain her family must be feeling unfathomable, I cannot even begin to imagine.

While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil. ~John Taylor

i keep what little i have left of her tucked away, things like a picture of our "palace," her obituatry and photo (which sits framed on my mothers desk); most are little things that only i get, only i understand and treasure. To me they are more precious than gold and jewels.
My mother shares a few memories of her with me, over the course of the last months my friend and i were together we were inseparable, during calls home my mother often heard Rebecca in the background, she always made sure i told my mom hello for her. But i am alone in most of my memories, my mother and i cannot sit and say "do you remember the time...?" and being alone in those memories makes it even more important for me to share them.

she was my teacher, my confidant, my partner in crime. she was my friend. i feel sure that she would not want us to be sad, or to cry, she would say "you'll ruin your make-up and your mascara will run," and she would be right; crying would be a waste of makeup. she had a wonderful life, a wonderful family whom she loved deeply, and friends that loved her, today we should celebrate her life. i think that's what she would want, a big luau just for her with lots of food, music and plenty leis with pink flowers and grass skirts. haha she would have a ball.

on April 22, 2006 the world lost an amazing person, but heaven gained an angel, im comforted to know that she's on my side.

Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will. ~Author Unknown

wonderful weekend

I had a great weekend. My boyfrind and I went to Pensacola to visit his old college friends, but this trip had a dual purpose. Pensacola was the last place he had seen his best friend before he passed away unexpectedly, we went to remember his friend and to remember a dear friend of mine, who also passed away unexpectedly. We went to celebrate their lives and to remember funny stories and to pass them on to those who didnt know them. Its our way of making sure that they are never forgotten.

the weather was beautiful and the water was crystal clear and the prettiest shade of blue you have ever seen, a little chilly for swim suits, but perfect for the purpose of the trip.

there was more laughtrer than tears, and new friends and memories made. It truly was a wonderful weekend.

and again...

lets try this one more time shall we?
this time I am going to really try to keep up with this blog...

nothing much to say....